I Don’t Know What Suffering Is

He reached the sage’s home to find a little wooden shack. The smokeless chimney and the cracks on the timber indicated that inside the house was as freezing as its outside.

The house was isolated and quiet, a little shed amid the vast snow.

Bewildered as to why he was sent there to find the answer to his question and frozen to his bones, the man could not fathom that a man living in such conditions wasn’t suffering.

He thought the sage pranked him, but since he was already there, he had nothing else to do but knock.

An old man opens the door. He is wearing thin clothes. He looks scrawny and pale. His white hair and beard hinted at many years of living in dire poverty.

The man stepped inside.

The house was plain, frigid, and bare. The small stove was off, and there were no utensils or food.

A plain table and chair stood, and a candle was lit. Books were opened. The old man had been studying when interrupted by the unexpected knock.

Time stood still, and the man did not waste it. He hastily said, “I was sent here by a sage, for I seek the answer to a most profound question. He told me you would know the answer.”

“What is your question?” The man replied, “How do I accept suffering with grace and love?”

The old sage looked dazed and answered, “I think the sage who sent you is mistaken. But, unfortunately, I cannot answer your question because I don’t know what suffering is. I have never suffered.”

The man was flabbergasted. Before he could utter a word, he found himself outside.

He started walking back home with a whirlwind of thoughts echoing the strong cold winds around him.

He was annoyed and frustrated that he didn’t receive his answer. He traveled all this way for nothing. He caught himself getting angry.

Is the sage delusional? Doesn’t he realize his condition? He seemed isolated, poor, cold, weak, and hungry.

“I cannot answer your question because I don’t know what suffering is. I have never suffered”, he repeated to himself the old man’s answer.

On the long way home, the man pondered and reflected on his brief encounter with the sage.

At last, the man’s face lit up. He realized he did find the answer to his question.

It became clear to him that no matter the dire circumstances, the old sage lived unencumbered by them. They were physical hardships but would not bring suffering to his soul.

The sage didn’t think those things could bring suffering. So he didn’t suffer.

It is not always about our predicament, as much as the meaning we attach to it that causes us suffering.

A breakup is infinitely more painful when we think we are unlovable and undesirable. Likewise, a job loss is a humiliating experience when we attach to it our fears of incompetency, and thoughts of victimhood, unworthiness, and unfairness intensely magnify our misery.

Sometimes life hurts.

Sometimes life stings.

Sometimes life disappoints.

We can’t control what life brings. But we can choose not to suffer. We can focus on our purpose, not on our pain, on our gifts, and not our grievances.

We can live a life and say, “ I don’t know what suffering is. I have never suffered,” not because we are insane or delusional, but because we worked on ourselves and learned that life is not only about what is, and more about, what you think it is.