7 Tips for Blissful Decision-Making

Choices.

Ah, the freedom!

Ugh, the uncertainty!

Choices are a double edge sword. On the one hand, they are liberating, empowering, and exciting. Yet, they can also be distracting, confusing and paralyzing.

As Eric Barker said,

“We love to have choices, but we hate to make choices.”

Sadly, there is no way around it. You will have to make choices, thousands of them.

Every day.

The good news is this article will help you with seven tips for blissful decision-making for those big life-changing decisions you ought to make.

Tip 1. Let go of timelines

                                                                    Photo by Azzedine Rouichi on Unsplash

You can’t rush clarity.

For life-altering decisions, give time to time. Another week, month, or year is not a long time compared to a lifetime of living the consequences and results of our choices.

We dread doubt and uncertainty, so we agonize over perceived arbitrary deadlines. We have time as long as we don’t have anyone pointing a gun at our heads.

Tip 2. FOMO is for the weak

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Crossroads.

Life is full of them.

We don’t know where to go; we don’t even know what we truly want.

We search the corners of our (online) existence, only to find out we don’t want anything out of the ordinary.

We are just afraid of missing out…on the fun, opportunity, glamour, spiritual high, or whatever we think is magically creating that luscious green grass.

Remove FOMO (fear of missing out) from your life.

You are not missing anything. You are where you are supposed to be.

If you don’t have something, it is not yours to be had. Yet.

Tip 3. Avoid comparisons

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Comparisons is the twin brother of FOMO. Our eyes see, and our hearts want. And we lose our minds in the process.

Do I want to dedicate all my waking hours to an important cause, or can’t I lose the race?

Am I focused on spreading my message wholeheartedly, or do I want to have as many followers as my friend?

Am I flying in pursuit of my dreams, or am I always stuck looking around to see what everyone else is doing?

Keep your eyes on the road. Focus on your journey.

You will stumble on your purpose. And never look back.

Tip 3. Talk to trusted friends/experts in the field

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One thing I annoyingly do, I will admit, is to ask someone a question and then answer my answer.

I seem to believe that if I think about the question in my head and don’t verbalize it, I won’t come up with the solution.

Maybe I am the only crazy one, but when in doubt, talk, ask, write, express, and think aloud, and the answer will come back to you. Somehow.

On a more pragmatic level, often, we are still in doubt because we don’t have enough knowledge to make an informed decision.

Talk to a therapist, your parents, experts, and any wise person who can lend a good ear.

Tip 4. Seek clarity

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At times, all the time in the world won’t magically help you make up your mind. You will need to seek clarity.

When the sky is clear, we can see far into the horizon.

When our minds are clear, we can see deeper into our hearts.

The world is noisy. Our phones are beeping; the doorbell is ringing, and the children are screaming (is it just in my house? Perhaps…)

If you have a big decision, you must shut down the outside noise. That includes other peoples’ opinions, the news, social media, and TV.

Seek peace. Create quietness. Meditate. Pray.

When I needed to make a life-altering decision, these two meditations helped me immensely.

I would imagine a lake with the most clear and fresh water. I am standing by the stream, and I see the water flowing, coursing through the stones, my hands, my feet, etc.

In the second meditation, I would visualize a bright, beautiful light. The light was coming from above; it would enter my home, surround me, touch my head, enter my body, and reach my heart.

This may be too esoteric for you, or it could be exactly your cup of tea; either way, it is worth a try. You may not come up with the answer to your dilemma, but it may help you see the world more clearly, calmly, and brightly.

Tip 6. Dig into your values system

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All the tips above are nice and dandy, but you must get knee-deep into your value system when making life-changing decisions.

We gave ourselves time; we avoided distraction; we sought wisdom and clarity. Now it is time to look inward.

What are my core values?

What is my ride or die?

Will my values keep me steady in a crisis or leave me vulnerable and weak?

How will I behave when faced with my inner demons, vanity, and ego?

What makes life worth living?

How do I want to be remembered?

Keep asking questions. You already have your answer.

Sometimes we must keep asking until we reach the depths of our ambiguities, anxieties, and fears.

Tip 7. Ask more practical questions

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Question #1:

Is this choice life-enhancing or life-draining?

If I choose to do this or purchase this, or hold back from doing something, will it enhance my life?

Will it contribute in any way or form to a better future?

If the answer is yes. Go for it.

It may be the most complex choice, time-consuming, or expensive, but it will be the right thing to do.

If the choice will drain your energy, time, and resources, strain your relationships, and not provide a positive outcome.

The answer is no.

Question #2:

In five, ten, or twenty years, will this matter? Will this choice make a difference in my life or the world?

If yes, keep going.

Question #3:

What action can I take to bring me closer to a final decision?

If you struggle to decide on a career path, perhaps a summer apprenticeship will solve your dilemma. If unsure about your partner, will a couple’s retreat answer some questions?

At times, the path is clear, and we move forward effortlessly.

More often than not, the road is bumpy and full of intersections and detours.

The push and pull between our choices and freedoms, our decisions and their repercussions, perhaps keep us moving and motivated to reach our final destination.

And when you get there, sometimes it hits you in the face.

You realize you made a mistake.

However, you can turn around.

And start again.