Lady Boss. Queen. Women Power. Girl Power. You Can Do It All.
Ah… the sweet sound of women’s empowerment.
Women are trying to do it all
From time to time, I get the question.
How do you do it?
Inside my head, I smile. I do it. What other options do I have? But I secretly pat myself on the back if I feel particularly overconfident.
A tinge of pride.
The elusive I don’t know how she does it echoes in my soul.
It may be subconscious or situational; as I said, what is the alternative when children need to be fed and supported, and bills must be paid while satisfying our needs for meaning, significance, and contribution?
Until the day I got a $500 (!!!) ticket while texting and waiting at a red light.
The phone trap
We know that driving while on your phone is dangerous, and watching an automobile move while the driver’s eyes are on a tiny screen is scary.
Nevertheless, those few precious minutes while the car stopped always had me reaching for my phone.
I knew I would have a text message (half of my work is done via WhatsApp) or a quick email that could be answered, and I would relish that things are taken care of on the spot.
I would ensure my kids were on top of their activities, remind them to be on time or make a quick phone call.
I could have done so much in those few minutes waiting in those long red lights. Few things bring satisfaction, such as checking off to-do items.
And yet… with that warped sense of accomplishment, I was losing something precious and risking losing much more.
I was losing my piece of mind.
“If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive.”
— Paulo Coelho
It took a painful $500 ticket and another agonizing five demerit points to shake me out of my dizzying merry-go-round.
It is as if that red slip is screaming in my face.
Nothing is truly urgent. People can wait. Things can wait.
You don’t have to manage everything and everyone all the time.
If something doesn’t serve you and even harms you (and others!), stop it.
You can enjoy a few minutes of driving, breathing, looking out the window, and staying in the moment.
The Super Woman Complex
We hear some men suffer from the hero complex, but modern women suffer just as much from the “Super Woman” or “Wonder Woman” complex.
We can juggle many balls. Look at me! Ops, one just dropped!
Frazzled and unfocused, we want to impress, but what we gain is stress.
There is a downfall of thinking we can do it all.
I must admit I was trying to do it all—all at once. I, too, suffer from the “Trying to do it all syndrome.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying don’t be ambitious, don’t have goals, don’t aim higher, don’t grow.
God only knows I have a list of goals and aspirations.
But what I learned was,
One. Thing. At. A. Time.
Looking out the window, pausing for a moment, a deep breath may be all you need to keep going.
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I wrote this article about goal-setting. If you want to learn a powerful mindset to help you reach your goals authentically and sustainably, click here.
