I watched the Netflix documentary Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare the other day.
In it, Kirat Assi relates how she was catfished for 9 years by her cousin Simran Boghal.
Her story is heartwrenching.
If you are interested in this film, here is a link to the trailer:
Catfishing is nothing less than pure lying, betrayal, empty promises, and dreams. Wasting someone’s time ( their most precious, unrenewable resource), money, and mental health should be a crime.
While my heart went out to Kirat, I couldn’t stop thinking: How can a smart, successful young woman be fooled in such a way?
The funny thing was I had completely forgotten that, once upon a time, I had been catfished myself for four months.
The good thing is once you get catfished, you will be able to catch those losers much faster next time they come around.
So, how do you catch a catfish?
Here is what I learned from my own experience and from what I have observed from the Sweet Bobby documentary and The Tinder Swindler (another crazy story).
Look out for these signs:
1. The catfish is always a great catch
If the dating profile sounds too good to be true, dig deeper.
The low-confidence person behind the fake profile will showcase himself as extremely good-looking, wealthy ( the last catfish I caught had two yachts, lol), and usually highly successful in their career; Kirat’s catfish was a cardiologist.
2. The catfish’s picture
Usually, the catfish’s picture won’t be a random picture of his good-looking neighbour, they will take it from the internet.
In Kirat’s case, she was impersonating another person, so she stole his picture to play her naughty game.
But if you want to find out if that person is real…
Save the profile picture on your phone, hop on Google, and use the Google Lens feature. Upload your catfish’s photo, and Google will tell you where this picture is from.
You’re welcome.
And hey, if that picture was of a real and beautiful person, I am truly happy for you. If it wasn’t, welcome back to the club.
Keep reading.
3. The catfish does not video call
In my case, the guy had a ready excuse every time I suggested a video call. It took me about four months to realize the guy was playing me.
Anyone with a wild imagination and a non-existent moral compass can make up an entire story and support it with fake pictures. But it’s much harder to live all that fantasy on a video call.
Even Kirat’s catfish, who kept their delusional “relationship” going strong for almost a decade, came up with crazy excuses for why she ( yes, it was a female cousin!) couldn’t hop on a video.
If you are interested in the person and want to make sure you are not falling prey to this catfish, suggest a video call early on. If they make excuses more than once or twice, catfish it is, my friend.
4. There is always a sob story
The catfish will keep you hooked with a pity party, and you will be his guest of honour.
There is always a sob story.
Severe depression, his pregnant girlfriend died in a car crash, or they are in the military serving our country with pride ( all “true” sob stories told by my soon-to-be-caught catfishes).
In Kirat’s case, her catfish had been shot, survived and was under witness protection.
Keep your ears perked up.
5. The catfish will ask you for money
Not every catfish will ask for money, but your alarm bells should ring if someone asks for money or any serious help before you even meet them.
In the documentary The Tinder Swindler, the Swindler scammed women and put them under serious debt.
Thankfully, I am too cheap and have many mouths to feed, so when two of my catfishes asked me for money, I knew it was time to say goodbye.
But if you do meet an occasional catfish, report that loser and teach him a lesson.
Do not let anyone waste your time and play with your heart.
Stay safe.
